This is the time of the year when Swamp Farm hosts a meeting of representatives of all of the farms. The United Farms.

A place where the ????????? can spend their time arguing and threatening to advance the cause of peace ??

Life for the ????????? is good at the United Farms – there is plenty of food. They don’t even have to obey Swamp Farm laws and they can leave their carts wherever they want, ignoring the instructions of the Dobermans of Swamp Farm.

Of course, Pig Trump complains about the costs of the United Farms’ meeting. ? But at least he gets to organise the room allocation. Rewarding friends, and punishing enemies, and friends ?.

And there are very big changes from when the thoroughbred, Obama, had been President.

In previous years, the bears from Vodka Farm had always been housed behind the iron curtain out the back near the tractor repair shed and above the leaking nuclear reactor. But now the bears had a room with a balcony looking over the Cofveve River, or what was left of it. It hadn’t been this good for bears ? since 1945.

This bears’ room had previously been kept for the corgis from Corgi Farm – who had thought they were BFF with Swamp Farm – but had now been downgraded to “punching above their weight” – the diplomatic equivalent of “we had an interesting time” in a thank you note after a dinner party where the host was drunk, the hostess flirted with the gay waiter and the soufflé sunk.

And so the corgis had been put on the other side of the Back Channel, in an old ? settled in a foggy hollow ? – at least they would feel at home ?.

The ? from Dumpling Farm had not yet been given a room. In previous years, they had always insisted on bringing along the fat badger from Bad Haircut Farm. They said they couldn’t leave him alone – but when he came, he kept threatening to trash all the rooms in Swamp Farm.

Pig Trump, in a rare nuanced moment, said he understood that things were complicated – but if the fat badger was not controlled by Dumpling Farm, then none of them could come at all.

Which seemed very unfair – as the ? from Sand Farm had burned the whole place down back in September 2001 – and they still got the best rooms every year since.

The camels also regularly complained that they were next to the representatives of Chicken Soup Farm – although the Chicken Soup rooms had all been grabbed after a late night drinking session 50 years ago.

And now evening falls. Night ? comes. All is quiet at Swamp Farm. Broken only by the padded footsteps ? of Nightmare Mueller ☠️, who quietly stalks the grounds of Swamp Farm and the ? of Pig Trump.

And then…….a tweet…….?