Swamp Farm has a baseball team.

The Swamp Farm team is called the White Barn Trumpets 🎺 . But the press has now been referring to the Swamp Farm team as the White Barn Bumblers 🐝.

They have lost ten games in a row. They had been voted most popular team in the pre-season, but have been less successful in the regular season. Pig Trump, who also doubles as the head coach, has mainly blamed the leaking of the team plans to its competitors.

But there are those commentators who think that perhaps the blame lies with Pig Trump who has been tweeting most of the training secrets – and sacking some of the best players.

And now the sponsors are also unhappy after they found out that Pig Trump had been inflating the size of the crowd at home games.

The problems started from the first pitch. In one crucial early game, the assistant coach, Flaky Flynn, responsible for working out the oppositions tactics and guarding the Trumpets own secrets had to be sacked for wearing the colours of the opposing team.

Squirrel Sessions is the starting catcher – meant to be the last line of defence – if Nightmare Mueller ☠️ of the G-Men hits for the boundary – it was to be Squirrel Sessions’ job to stop him reaching home.

But notwithstanding being chosen after Spring Training, he then gave up his position to Rabbit Rosenstein. As Pig Trump said, this is not fair to the coach.

Coach Pig Trump said that Bannon was “a guy who plays for me”. He was nearly cut a few weeks ago – although he was probably saved by strong support from the baseball fan magazine, Brietfart News. And the fact that he was responsible for attracting most of the team’s supporters.

Meerkat Kushner and Goldmine Cohen are the glamour players – and are expected to hit home runs like peace in the between Chicken Soup Farm and Sand Farm and getting the nuclear weapons back from Bad Haircut Farm. But other than once hitting the cruise missiles out of the park in the game against Syria Farm, they have been pretty unsuccessful.

Commissioner Mueller is also looking at Meerkat Kushner, and possibly Coach Pig Trump himself, for recruiting violations and spying on other teams during the off season.

Coach Pig Trump finally decided he needed another assistant coach to yell at the team. And so Skunk Scaramucci was appointed. Skunk Scaramucci had been pretty successful in Fantasy Baseball on Fox News – but the jury was still out as to whether he would be any good in the real form of the game.

And he may have caused himself some future problems after he called the referee at home and told him that all the other players on the White Barn Trumpets were cheats.

The other problem was that Pig Trump hadn’t got around to telling the other existing assistant coach, Owl Preibus about Skunk Scaramucci’s appointment. That of itself should not have been noticed by the supporters – after all the White Barn Trumpets had been playing like a team with 5 assistant coach and no players.

But then Skunk Scaramucci made things worse when he scribbled Owl Priebus’s name off the team list on the notice board outside the locker room and wrote his own name in. [editor’s note – the censor has deleted references to what Skunk Scaramucci wrote on the toilet door about the solitary activities of Snake Bannon.]

Owl Priebus was a sad figure as he walked alone to the change rooms after the last game

And now even the mascot, Wombat Spicer has resigned. He could always be relied upon to always try and whip up the crowd in even the most desperate games – even claiming scores by the opposition as successes for the White Barn Trumpets!

And so, only a part way through the season, the White Barn Trumpets are looking everywhere for players who will turn the tide.

But, the newspapers are all asking that perennial question about any failing sports franchise – “how long will the coach last?” 😏