There had been an added urgency to Spring training for the Swamp Farm Trumpets baseball ⚾ team at the Mar-a-Lago Paddock.

Pig Trump had agreed an extra, unplanned game against Bad Haircut Farm.

The Bad Haircut Farm Missiles had never been part of a regular competition. They had had a pretty strong team in the early 1950s, but most games since then had been intramurals with Dumpling Farm.

Little is known of their strengths and weaknesses – although a few observers have noticed that players who dropped a catch or struck out did not come back onto the field after the sound of machine gun fire was heard coming from the dugout.

It had been a surprise to everyone that the Swamp Farm Trumpets has been promoted to the major league. And that inexperience showed, and the 2017 season was far less successful than at first hoped.

There had also been off field controversy when Club Treasurer, Mnuchin the Munchkin had persuaded Pig Trump that halving the ticket prices would triple the number of spectators. Time will tell on that initiative. But in the short term, there was not enough money to fix the playing surface or pay the players.

And no money for paying the cheerleader that Pig Trump had been trying to kiss behind the grandstand.

But the really big problem looming for 2018 was the loss of players.

Goldmine Cohn had not lived up to the promise he had shown with the Big Apple Millionaires. And when Pig Trump cut his salary by 25%, he quit.

And while Snake Bannon, Owl Priebus, Wombat Spicer and Skunk Scaramucci were never of major league quality, and kept playing out of position, dissing their teammates and dropping the ball, they at least filled the positions.

And, most distressingly for Trump, Golden Pony Hicks, the head cheerleader 📣 had resigned.

And now, the Swamp Farm Trumpets were getting ready to face the Bad Haircut Farm Missiles.

Sometimes, it felt that the fate of the world depended on the result.

And the C team couldn’t find the bat and ball…..