The White House announced today that President Trump would bring some of the discipline of the corporate planning process to the White House.

This bringing of business skills was presented – optimistically – as a good thing.

However, the White House refused to respond to a question on Herbert Hoover who was the last President to claim business savvy as the center of his ability to improve the country. Unfortunately, a legacy of searing literature on economic despair and feel good musicals to distract from unemployment and breadlines is not the stuff of memorable presidencies.

Other Presidents with significant business experience include Jimmy Carter (energy crisis, inflation and stagnation), George HW Bush (recession) and George W Bush (GFC).

The spokesman said that the President and senior staff will spend the weekend on collaborative strategising about the future of the United States. Amongst the key issues to be workshopped include “what type of business do we think we are in” and “what are our core competencies”.

To help the process, it has been suggested that as many of the features as possible of a corporate planning process will be followed.

We can therefore assume there will be a deck (language is important here) of at least 750 pages divided into “Where are we”, “Where do we want to be” and “How do we get there”.

With an additional set of endless economic statistics, charts with all arrows pointing up, multiple references to “the growing Asian middle class”, forecasts for 2050 (has anyone checked those 1985 forecasts for 2018) and sports photos every 15 pages emphasising teamwork.

The discussion on “what sort of business do we think we are in” should be brief. The Trump presidency already has the benefit of a short and meaningless slogan – “Make America Great Again” – the development of which would normally consume the time of endless pots of over-brewed coffee, mints in small plastic envelopes that are impossible to open and slightly stale apricot Danishes.

The real challenge is expected to be the discussion on core competencies. In the original strategy document in 2016, these had been listed as success in business, picking the “A team” and the ability to cut a deal.

Success in business is best evidenced by having more money than you started with – something which is doubtful with Donald Trump.

As for the A team, it is perhaps manageable that Donald Trump’s caddy is the White House social media director – this is really covered by Donald Trump himself. But the general view of an “A team” is either prior success, or current success. So not much traction there.

And cutting a deal has traditionally implied cutting “a good deal” for your side. It is believed that the tax cut will be front and center. However, given the MAGA vision thing implies improving things for all Americans, and not just the 1%, this discussion should be interesting.

However, help is at hand from that key tradition of corporate offsites. The “facilitator”. Someone with only a sketchy idea of the actual issues but who can nonetheless be relied upon to hold forth with energy, pictures and not a moments real challenge to the CEO signing the check for their assistance.

Fox News has agreed to continue its role in this respect.

And finally, most businesses return on Monday to “business as usual” – which at least means making a profit and paying a dividend.

Oh to be so lucky here!