Pig Trump was content.

He had even got over Wombat Barr asking him to stop using the Department of Justice bathroom at the same time that Wombat Barr was scrubbing the toilet and changing the air freshener. Again…

Wombat Barr had also complained that he had run out of copies of the constitution to use as toilet rolls. Pig Trump had simply said to do the same as the State Department and use the ethics guidelines.

And so perhaps it was time to start planning more visits to foreign farms. He had liked the pomp of Corgi Farm. And even finally a trip to Vegemite Farm to see just how effective his climate policy had been.

Or even bomb Bad Haircut Farm.

But the tug of war between his red MAGA tractor and the blue tractor was only months away. Could Pig Trump leave Swamp Farm?

He looked out of the window.

The blue tractor had been bogged for three years now. The blue chickens used it for a resting place – mostly along the left hand side. It had had a quick paint job in November 2018, but it was really just a mixture of dark blue and light blue splotches.

The blue chickens had tried to start it in the Iowa paddock – but the electronic ignition hadn’t worked and the mechanics had lost the instruction booklet.

Moneybags Bloomberg had apparently offered to buy a completely new tractor. But Pig Trump would make sure Moneybags Bloomberg would never be able to get it through the stop and frisk gate into the South Carolina paddock.

No. There wasn’t anything to worry about.

Now where was that map of Bad Haircut Farm?