Washington: February 8, 2022

The White House, the Kremlin and No 10 Downing Street announced the end of the standoff in the Ukraine.

In what has been hailed in diplomatic circles as a win for at least two of the counties involved, it has been agreed that Florida will be transferred to the United Kingdom, Mayfair will be transferred to Russia and the Ukraine will be transferred to the United Staes. And hostilities will cease.

There are no cultural or language barriers to the integration of W1 into Russia. The residents already know their borscht from their Beef Wellington. Transferring Florida to the United Kingdom will provide Boris Johnson with 21 million people used to voting for a crazy right wing populist with a bad haircut.

A White House spokesman was asked what benefit the United States got from incorporating a country that recently elected a totally inexperienced television personality as President and was engaged in a long running civil war.

“Ukrainians seemed to be just like us” said the spokesman.