The farm gate squeaked.

All the animals looked up. From inside the White Barn, you could hear the sound of the gravel crunching as the tyres of the limousine rolled closer.

He was coming.

The black thoroughbred, Obama, had his head down. His coat had flecks of grey which had not been there eight years ago, when he first came to Swamp Farm.

Everyone had liked Thoroughbred Obama at first. But he had started to ignore the draft horses, the chickens, the goats and the oxen. He only spent time with the golden ponies of the Big Apple Orchard.

The door creaked open and the shape of large pig filled the space. “I’m Donald” he said. Suddenly, a slithering sound and a large snake said “and I’m Bannon”.

And the barn was soon full of new animals with a raccoon (Kushner), a weasel (Miller), Alternative Weasel (Conway) and a golden pony (Ivanka). And in the bushes (Washington Post)/near the bushes (White Barn press office) was Spicer the Wombat.

In the shadows was the giraffe (Comey) – not there – but always a quiet presence.

Life began to change at Swamp Farm. Thoroughbred Obama’s was gone. The press crows reported he was eating long green grass and drinking cool clear water.

There were 50 chickens in the henhouse. But Wombat Spicer told the animals that there were 150 chickens who got up early every morning and waited for Donald to speak.

Surprising – as the sign on the henhouse said “Maximum capacity – 60”. Only the press crows kept on about it.

Pig Trump had promised the chickens and the goats that that there would be lots and lots of food. More food than they had ever seen. Excellent food. And at first the grass was growing long and lush on all of the paddocks of Swamp Farm.

But then Snake Bannon and Weasel Miller said that the ordinary farm animals could only eat on half the paddocks for half the days.

Alternative Weasel Conway said that the Alternative Fact was that they were getting more food than before – although it still seemed less to the animals who noted that the thoroughbreds from the Goldman Sachs gold mine and the golden ponies from the Big Apple Orchard were able to eat on all the paddocks all the time.

The first animal to leave Swamp Farm was Giraffe Comey. He had opened the gate on Pig Trump’s first day. And Pig Trump had praised him.

But Giraffe Comey had insisted on shining a torchlight on the bears that wandered the farm after nightfall. The bears were friends of Donald. And now Giraffe Comey was leaving the farm.

And so it had begun.